Parenting Spicy Children with Heidi Rogers - Alana Carvalho

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1st July 2022 | Written by

Parenting Spicy Children with Heidi Rogers

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One of the ways you can tell if you’ve experienced narcissitic abuse, is ...⁠
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If you tend to ❕ GASLIGHT YOURSELF ❕⁠
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What does that mean?⁠
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That means⁠
🔹 we are questioning our own reality⁠
🔹 we’re not allowing ourselves to believe that what we’ve experiences is true & valid⁠
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🤔 We therefore question ourselves, and put ourselves down, and wonder if we are overreacting.⁠
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When you find yourself diminishing your own reality, that may be a sign that you are experiencing some type or narcissistic abuse.⁠
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This statement speaks to one of the most frustrating dynamics of dealing with a narcissist 👉🏼 their complete inability to take accountability. ⁠
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When confronted with their own harmful behavior, rather than acknowledging it, they often react with rage, defensiveness, or even attempts to flip the script and make you the problem.⁠
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𝐖𝐡𝐲? Because admitting fault would threaten their carefully crafted self-image. Instead of self-reflection, they deny, gaslight, or attack to regain control of the narrative. This can leave you questioning reality, feeling guilty for speaking up, or even apologizing for things that weren’t your fault.⁠
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❗If you’ve ever felt like you’re going in circles trying to get a narcissist to see what they’ve done—know this: you don’t need their acknowledgment to validate your experience. Trust what you know to be true, and don’t waste your energy seeking accountability from someone who refuses to give it.⁠
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I'll be speaking a lot more about navigating relationships and dynamics with a narcissist, so follow along for more steps towards getting your power & peace back 🤍

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When you’re feeling an intense emotion, it can color your entire experience. You are temporarily unable to look for or internalize any new information that doesn’t ‘fit’ with the emotion you’re feeling.⁠
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For example, if you are angry, all you can focus on is the source of your anger, or look for more reasons to be angry, or think about why your anger is justified. The state can last for a second or two, or last for many minutes. It all depends on our past history, our overall well-being, our choices in the moment, and how the other people involved behave.⁠
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💡 Here’s a tip that can change your life: ⁠
Don’t make decisions in the middle of emotional waves. ⁠
Instead, wait it out, take some space, and care for yourself until it passes. ⁠
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Then, you will be able to use the insights of that emotion and choose how you want to respond. ⁠
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This waiting will make it possible for you to tap into your wisdom and connect to your compassion-and make the choice that best serves you and others.⁠
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Image & words by @newhappyco

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You care deeply about others—but sometimes, that care feels heavy. ⁠
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You absorb people’s emotions, struggle to say no, and feel responsible for keeping the peace. So… are you just really empathetic, or is it codependency? 🤔⁠
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Swipe through this carousel to follow along my journey with this and find out the difference between being an empathetic person and being codependent. ⁠
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Because while empathy is a gift, codependency can leave you feeling drained, resentful, and disconnected from yourself.⁠
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💡 Awareness is the first step to breaking free.

© COPYRIGHT 2025 Alana Carvalho

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