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Home
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Work With Alana
Codependent Perfectionist
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Codependent relationships are learned and modeled in our dynamics growing up. We learned that we are responsible for fulfilling the needs of others, that other people’s feelings are our fault, and that it’s our job to fix them. ⁣⁣⁣⁠
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Where does this leave us? Chasing approval and validation from people at our own expense. ⁣⁣⁠
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We sacrifice our own needs, wants, and feelings to give others what they need, hoping that if we do enough, we can prove we’re worthy of love. We exhaust ourselves trying to make others feel okay so we can feel okay. ⁣⁣⁣⁠
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The thing is, no matter how much we give or sacrifice, external validation will never fill this need. Instead of feeling loved, fulfilled, and cared for in return, we end up feeling angry, ashamed, and resentful.⁣⁣⁣⁠
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To heal from codependency we need to UNDO the conditioning that has taught us we are only worthy of love if others say so. ⁣⁣⁣⁠
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To unlearn codependency, and make room for authentic relationships, we must learn how to:⁣⁣⁣⁠
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⭐ Identify our own needs by getting to know our own neglected inner child⁣⁣⁣⁠
⭐ Set boundaries with ourselves + others⁣⁣⁣⁠
⭐ Get comfortable with others feeling upset, disappointed, or angry with us⁣⁣⁣⁠
⭐ Support others as they do their own emotional work, rather than taking responsibility for their feelings⁣⁣⁣⁠
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Follow my page and take a look at my book on EXACTLY THIS for more on unraveling our codependency so we can raise children who thrive!⁠
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#relationships #relationshiptip #relationshiptips #relationshipquote #relationshipquotes #parentingtips #parentingbook #Parentingbooks #parentinghack #parentinghacks #parentingtip #codepenencyrecovery #recoveringcodependent #codependencyquote #hsc #highlysensitivechild #highlysensitivechildren

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How can setting boundaries improve your life and wellbeing??? ⁠
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Just off the top of my head, here are a handful of benefits of setting boundaries:⁠
You will have more self-awareness and compassion ⁠
You will learn how to be assertive ⁠
Your needs will be met (and you will be aware of what they are!)⁠
Your stress levels will decrease⁠
You will have less anger & resentment⁠
You will have the time & energy to do things that bring you joy and nourish your mind, body & spirit⁠
You will learn to say ""no"" and mean it⁠
And, here's the SHOCKER ... the relationships that are meant to be in your life will IMPROVE! ⁠
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Is there any are of your life that you could use any of the above benefits??? ⁠
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Image by @therapist_uncensored_podcast⁠
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#perfectionism #perfectionism #perfectionismrecovery #codependencyrecovery #codependentnomore #melodybeattie

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My book Raising Empowered Children: The Codependent Perfectionists Guide to Parenting is here to help you break the cycle. ⁠
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It's here to provide you with a framework for understanding your own pain and how to successfully raise your children in a safe and loving environment full of connection and free from the grips of codependency and perfectionism⁠
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Throughout the chapters, we cover topics like how to effectively communicate with your children that encourages them to feel heard, seen and accepted. How to be both in a position of power as the parent as well as raise children who feel empowered. And a spiritual understanding of why we have the children we do. I also include reflective exercises at the end of each chapter to help you apply the concepts and strategies to your own experience.⁠
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Grab a copy for yourself at the link in my bio or through this image!⁠
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#thecodependentperfectionist #hsp #highlysensitiveperson #highlysensitivepeople #highlysensitive #sensitiveperson #drelainearon #sensitivity #sensitive #sensitivityisastrength #sensitivesuperpower #empath #empaths #empathsbelike #empathsofinstagram #empathstruggles #empathsbelike #empathsofinstagram #empathlife #empathic #empathsunite #secondguessing #selftrust #selfconfidence #boundaries #settingboundaries

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✨ Just close your eyes, pick a card and get insights that will help you along your codependency recovery journey!

✨ If you are not famiiar with Oracle Cards, they are such an amazing tool that you can use at home for real spiritual guidance right at your fingertips. You don’t have to have an expensive therapeutic session, you can think about what you have going on , what you are struggling with, or what you want some guidance on , and just pick a card and see what you get

✨ Oracle Cards are based on the law of synchronicity - which means that whatever card you pick is EXACTLY the card you are meant to get!

✨ They are so easy to use, each one has a thorough explanation of each word and how it may resonate for you. At the end, there is a reflective question to see how this may impact what you are struggling with and how you can move forward.

✨ Grab a deck at my shop or at the link in my bio - I hope you enjoy them!
On each of these 52 cards are the perfect prompts for journaling or just to use for everyday feedback from the Universe.

#thecodependentperfectionist #melodybeattie #selfconnection #youarewhole#thoughtlife #lovingwhatis #masterlifecoach #codependency #liberation #freedom #perfectionist #perfectionism #codependent #codependentnomore #mentalhealthawareness #mindfulness #positivevibes #healing #boundaries #codependencyrecovery #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #gaslighting #narcissism #toxicrelationships #narcissisticabusesurvivor #traumabonding #narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissistic

© COPYRIGHT 2023 Alana Carvalho

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