GUEST APPEARANCE - Adult Child Podcast - Alana Carvalho

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22nd March 2023 | Written by

GUEST APPEARANCE – Adult Child Podcast

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The holidays can be… a lot. But you don’t have to carry everything. Focus on the stuff that’s yours to hold. Your energy, your boundaries, and your self-care. The rest? Let it go⁠
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𝐏.𝐒. Set one boundary for yourself this week. It doesn’t have to be big, just something that protects your peace.⁠
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#childhoodwounds #healingchildhoodtrauma #dysfunctionalfamily #generationaltrauma #emotionalwounds #emotionallyunavailable #childhoodtrauma #emotionalneglect #narcissiticabuse #narcissisticmother⁠
Words & Image by @selfloverainbow

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An unexpected step in the healing journey is that sometimes the moment you start healing, things at home get harder, not easier.⁠
That doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It simply means you’re changing the pattern.⁠
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When you set boundaries, stop people-pleasing, or refuse to carry someone else’s emotions, the family system feels it.⁠
And the truth is that systems resist change.⁠
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So if you’re feeling guilt, pushback, or distance after choosing yourself… take a breath. You’re not the problem. You’re the shift.⁠
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💬 Comment COMMUNITY if this resonates, and remember, you don’t have to do it alone.⁠
Join the Codependent Perfectionist Support Community to learn how to stay grounded and empowered while breaking family patterns. ⁠
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#codependencyrecovery #healingjourney #narcissisticfamilies #innerchildhealing #emotionallyimmatureparents #boundariesarehealthy #reparenting #healingcommunity #codependentnomore #cyclebreakers⁠

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One of my favorite short & powerful tips: ✨ The Power of the Pause ✨⁠
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Heading into the holidays, remember:⁠
You don’t have to react right away. You don’t have to fix the energy in the room. You don’t have to explain yourself to be understood.⁠
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Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do… is pause.⁠
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Pause before saying “yes” when your body feels a “no.”⁠
Pause before overexplaining to avoid tension.⁠
Pause before taking responsibility for someone else’s mood.⁠
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That pause is where your power lives.⁠
It’s where you choose your peace over old patterns.⁠
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So this week, give yourself permission to slow down, breathe, and respond with intention. You’re not here to manage everyone’s emotions ... just your own. ⁠
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Save this as a gentle reminder before your next family gathering.⁠
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#narcissisticex #narcissistic #narcissist #narcissisticrelationship #narcissists #narcissisticparent #narcissism #narcissisticfamily #narcissistglossary #emotionalabusesurvivor #gaslightingawareness #toxicrelationship #covertnarcissist #narcissisticbehavior #gaslighting #narcissistsupply

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1️⃣ You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved. Stop calling it “love” when it’s control disguised as care.
2️⃣ Saying “I’m fine” when you’re not is self-abandonment, not strength.
3️⃣ People-pleasing isn’t kindness - it’s fear of rejection. And fear will never create real connection.
4️⃣ Your boundaries don’t need approval to be valid.
5️⃣ The apology you’re waiting for might never come. Heal anyway.
6️⃣ Over-functioning doesn’t make you worthy - it makes you exhausted.
7️⃣ Sometimes “letting go” isn’t weakness; it’s self-respect.
8️⃣ You can’t heal in the same environment that broke you.
9️⃣ Your peace will cost you relationships with people committed to chaos - pay it.
🔟 Healing requires choosing discomfort now over resentment later.

Tough love, I know. But this is where real freedom begins ... when you stop betraying yourself for approval and start showing up for you.

If this hit hard, it’s because you’re ready to grow.

🤍 Dive deeper inside The Codependent Perfectionist Support Community, where we turn these truths into action, with live support, tools, and accountability to help you stop performing and start living.

👉 Comment COMMUNITY or click the link in bio to join us.

© COPYRIGHT 2025 Alana Carvalho

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