Communication - Alana Carvalho

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1st May 2019 | Written by Change Me

Communication

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Things to remember about setting boundaries ✅⁠
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Image by @laci.mcgarry⁠
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#codependencyrecovery #codependent #codependencynomore #codependentsanonymous #codependentnomore #codependency #selfesteemtips #selflovejourney #selfloveadvocate #selflovedeficitdisorder #selfloveisthebestlove #selfloveisthebestlove #stopcodependency #stoppeoplepleasing #stopeoplepleaser #stopperfectionism #peoplepleasernomore #peoplepleasing #peoplepleasers #peoplepleaser #peoplepleaserproblems #peoplepleasingnomore #perfectionisme #perfectionist #perfectionism #personalgrowthanddevelopment #perfectionismrecovery #personalgrowth #personalgrowthtips #personaldevelopmentillustration

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"Even when I detach, I care. You can be seperate from a thing and still care about it.” David Levithan⁠
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PSA: You can detach and still love & care for another person 💗⁠
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#thecodependentperfectionist #tinybuddha #quotes #dailyquotes #quotesdaily #wisdom #wordsofwisdom #wisdomquotes #peace #laughter #love #nostress #tinybuddhaquotes #buddhaquote #buddhaquotes #familydynamics #youmatter #iamworthy #emotionalhealing #youareimportant #mentalhealthawareness #emotionalhealth #healingjourney #innerchildhealing #soulcoach #gowithin #reparenting #lettinggo

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Without a conscious effort to break the cycle of codependency in our relationships, there's a high likelihood of returning to the familiar and detrimental patterns. Here's a breakdown of the typical steps in this cycle:

⚪ Denial of Self and Overfocus on Others:
A person starts by putting all their focus on their partner's needs and desires, often ignoring their own and neglecting boundaries in the process to accomodate their partner's wishes. .

⚪ Low Self-Esteem and Lack of Boundaries:
Due to the focus on the partner, one's self-esteem can quickly diminish as their worth becomes tied to their ability to please and support the partner and with that, personal boundaries become a blur.

⚪ Dependency and Fear of Abandonment:
One then relies heavily on their partner for validation, happiness, and a sense of purpose. The fear of them leaving escalates, pushing them to work even harder to keep them around.

⚪ Enabling and Rescuing Behavior:
A person may begin excusing and covering up their partner's negative actions, essentially feeding into their issues to keep the relationship afloat. This only fuels unhealthy dependency.

⚪ Repression of Emotions and Needs:
One's own emotions and needs get pushed to the back burner as they strive to keep things smooth. It leads to pent-up frustration and resentment.

⚪ Crisis or Breaking Point:
The unhealthy dynamics eventually reach a breaking point due to accumulated stress, dissatisfaction, or a major event.
This can be a conflict, separation, or a realization that the relationship is unsustainable in its current state.

⚪ Period of Detachment and Reflection:
After the storm settles, they may take some time away from the relationship to think about what's been happening, seeing the destructive patterns and how they've impacted their relationship and their well-being.

⚪Reconciliation or Repeat of Cycle:
Depending on the individual's growth and awareness, they may either attempt to set healthier boundaries and work on improving the relationship or fall back into the codependent cycle, restarting the pattern.

Does this pattern feel familiar in any of your relationships?
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#thecodependentperfectionist

© COPYRIGHT 2023 Alana Carvalho

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