Romantic Relationships - Alana Carvalho

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8th April 2019 | Written by Change Me

Romantic Relationships

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You are forgiven 🤍

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Every client I’ve worked with who has experienced betrayal, narcissistic abuse, or gaslighting has told me the same thing:⁠
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They knew something was off.⁠
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Their bodies spoke before their minds could make sense of it….⁠
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tightness in the chest, knots in the stomach, headaches, inflammation, insomnia, anxiety, gut issues, or a constant sense of exhaustion.⁠
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These aren’t random symptoms.⁠
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They’re your nervous system’s early warning signals, the body’s way of saying, “You’re not safe here.”⁠
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The challenge is that when you’ve survived trauma, those signals can get tangled with hypervigilance, self-doubt, or the urge to minimize what you’re feeling.⁠
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Gaslighting-whether from a partner, parent, or even your own inner critic conditions you to override your instincts, dismiss your needs, and stay in unsafe situations.⁠
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Your body is your first line of discernment, and learning to listen is an act of radical self-protection.⁠
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Words & Images by @yourcourageouscomeback⁠
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#codependencyrecovery #healingjourney #healthyboundaries #narcissisticabusehealing #boundaries

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This is something I see all the time ... especially with people who’ve been conditioned to be “understanding.”⁠
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We tell ourselves we’re being patient.⁠
We tell ourselves love means giving people time.⁠
We tell ourselves it’s not a big deal.⁠
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But if you’re constantly overriding your own discomfort to keep the peace… that’s not patience. That’s self-abandonment.⁠
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And here’s the part no one talks about: resentment doesn’t explode out of nowhere. It builds quietly. Every swallowed boundary. Every excused pattern. Every time you say “it’s fine” when it’s not.⁠
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Your nervous system keeps the receipts.⁠
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Healthy love doesn’t require you to betray yourself to maintain it.⁠
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If you’re noticing resentment building in your relationships, that’s not a sign you’re “too much.” It’s information. It’s your inner voice asking to be included.⁠
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What’s one boundary you’ve been minimizing lately?⁠
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#therapyjourney #healingfromcodependency #narcissisticabusehealing #innerchildhealing #therapyworks

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Setting boundaries can bring out several hard emotions, such as these common ones:

👉 Guilt: If you’re used to prioritizing others’ needs over your own, you might worry about disappointing or upsetting people, but remember that taking care of yourself is essential for your well-being.

👉 Fear: Fear can arise, particularly if you anticipate negative reactions or potential conflict. You might fear rejection, abandonment, or damaging your relationships.

👉 Anxiety: Anxiety can arise from the uncertainty of how others will respond to your boundaries. Reminding yourself that your needs are valid can help alleviate some anxiety.

👉 Anger: If your boundaries have been repeatedly violated in the past, you might experience anger while setting them. You might be angry at yourself for allowing it to happen or at the person who crossed your boundaries. Recognize your anger, but try to channel it constructively.

👉 Sadness: Setting boundaries can bring up sadness, especially if it means recognizing that some relationships may need to change or end. It’s normal to mourn the loss of certain dynamics, but remember that prioritizing your well-being will bring you more happiness.

👉 Doubt: Doubt may creep in when setting boundaries, leading you to question your own worthiness or whether your needs are reasonable. Trust in yourself and remember that you have the right to establish boundaries that align with your values and well-being.

While these emotions can be difficult to navigate, it’s important to remind yourself that setting boundaries is an act of self-care and self-respect. It allows you to establish healthier relationships and prioritize your own needs. Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or a therapist can also be helpful during this process.

© COPYRIGHT 2026 Alana Carvalho

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